Night opens unexpected doorways through insurmountable obstacles—bringing us to places we thought were out of reach. It offers the chance to find, or rediscover, a fresh start.
Olympic champion Federica Pellegrini began training through the winter as a young girl in La Gazzera, a suburb of Venice. It was the era of her first double training sessions. Outside, it was still dark. She was twelve years old.
What do you remember about those early morning swims? "It was extremely early, before going to school. The alarm went off at five-thirty. My mother used to drive me. By six, I was in the water. It was still pitch-black outside. I would swim until eight, then get out and change. By the time I walked into the classroom, I was completely spent."
Like so many elite athletes—Simone Biles comes to mind—you quickly found yourself under immense pressure. In November 2008, you experienced breathing difficulties during an 800-metre race. What went through your mind?
"The feeling at that moment was one of drowning, of simply not being able to breathe. And being unable to breathe underwater is an experience I wouldn't wish on anyone."
So what was really going on? "I had no idea I was asthmatic. I had pulmonary vasoconstriction triggered by certain agents in the pool."
From then on, you took every precaution and started seeing a sports psychologist, yet the crises kept happening. A few months later, on 6 March 2009, you suffered another breakdown during the 400-metre heats. What do you recall? "I fled the deck just moments before stepping onto the starting block. Once again, I felt my throat closing up. Yet physically, there was no underlying reason. I was taking standard asthma inhalers. Everything was under control, but it still wasn't working."
You kept working with your psychologist and coach. Shortly after, in July, the World Aquatics Championships in Rome were approaching—a crucial milestone. The pressure was mounting. Then something happened. One night in May 2009, you fell asleep and had a dream. What was it? "I was on the starting block for this damned 400-metre race, but I suddenly realised I was still wearing my bathrobe. Just as the whistle blew for us to take our marks. There was no time to take it off."
And what did you do? "I dived in, bathrobe and all, and started swimming. In my mind, I could see my rivals pulling away, one by one. In a normal situation, that would have caused me immense stress. Instead, I felt calm. Completely in control of myself."
Meanwhile, the bathrobe was getting heavier and heavier… "It was soaking up more and more water. But I kept going, one stroke at a time. In the dream, I managed to finish that 400 metres, and the moment I touched the wall, shortly after, I woke up."
What did you feel at dawn that morning? "Deep down, I knew I had finally come through the darkness. Not that I was completely cured, but that from then on, I would be able to manage the problem. It was an incredibly powerful dream."
At the Rome World Championships, athletes were staying at the Acqua Acetosa sports centre. On the morning of Sunday 26 July, you swam the 400-metre heats at the Foro Italico. Afterwards, you felt feverish, but didn’t take your temperature. What did you do?
"I rested, even though everything in Rome was harder. It was difficult to even eat because of the tension, and everyone was expecting me to win the two gold medals I had missed out on at Beijing 2008. The pool felt like a football stadium—something completely unprecedented for a swimmer. Everything felt massive and terrifying."
The final was in the late afternoon. There were so many people that even the pool water seemed to vibrate. You set a new world record, becoming the first woman to break the four-minute barrier. What were your thoughts after everything you had endured?
"A huge sigh of relief. I realised I could make it. But not everything was behind me. An episode like that changes you deep down. I never swam the 400 metres with complete freedom again. But it was a wonderful redemption, because back then, mental health wasn't part of the conversation. I was seen as the crazy one at the time."
It didn't end there. On Wednesday 29 July came the 200-metre event. In the afternoon, temperatures hovered near 35 degrees. By evening it cooled down, but lying in bed that night, you couldn't sleep.
"I remember that evening as if it were yesterday. The tension had dropped, yet I was tossing and turning in bed, overcome by the kind of hunger that keeps you awake. So I got up, trying to be as quiet as possible so as not to wake my roommates, and called my mother. My parents were in Rome having dinner with friends at a pizzeria. Within fifteen minutes, they arrived with two pizzas. They were cold, but they were delicious."
What kind of pizza did you get?
"I had a quattro stagioni. I was starving... I ate the pizza straight out of the box, sitting on the steps of the corridor outside our rooms at the Acqua Acetosa sports centre, with my parents beside me. By midnight, I was back in bed, sleeping peacefully on a full stomach."
Late the following afternoon, you broke the world record in the 200-metre freestyle—a record that held for 14 years. Can you tell us how you celebrated that night?
"I didn't celebrate, because I still had a relay race ahead of me. And as long as you're competing, you don't celebrate. Afterwards, on the final night, we certainly made up for lost time."
Do you ever think back to that dream?
"Not often, but whenever I do, I relive every bit of it, exactly as I felt it back then."
This article was reviewed by an external translation partner